Safety glasses please.

I admit it.  I almost bought a “magical” bra off of a TV infomercial.  I got totally sucked in with the hype and stories and pictures.  No wires poking , no uncomfortable straps, no squishy bits???  Sign me up!  Ever the cautious consumer, I did some online research and there are people who actually post reviews about this “magical” bra.  You do not even have to buy it from the TV – the local big box store sells it.  One reviewer’s comment has stuck in my head.  In part it read “this is a good weekend bra”.  A Weekend Bra.  I started thinking about a “weekend bra”.  Who knew there was such a thing?  What would this mean? Is it less conforming?  Less confining?  More flexible?  Is it supportive?  Are there options to be exercised at your discretion?  Does it have a calendar attached to it so that it knows when the weekend is over?  What if you wore it on a Tuesday?

I got my first bra when I was in grade 6.  Disgusting.  Who wants that? (Trust me, you don’t).   I still cringe at the memories of the teasing and gawking and losers trying to look down my shirt.  Back then "El Torro" did not exist, just the shy girl who did not want to be noticed was there.  I feel like Grade 6 was the start of the end of my childhood.  Sure I got older because of the earths’ rotation but I also got Old. My dad died that year and there was just me and my little brother and my mom.  By necessity I grew up; along with the bra came new responsibilities and expectations.  No, Grade 6 was not a great year.  Then we go to grade 7.  Not much better.  We moved from hick town to the city mid-year. Terrifying.  There may have been a slight advantage to the needing a real bra in grade 7, but I was too shy and shell-shocked to use it to any advantage.  Of course there have been other bras.  There have been pretty bras (I got married), nursing bras (I had kids), sport bras (sometimes I am a runner) but never a Weekend Bra. 

Maybe it is a metaphor.  Perhaps you put it on and then you are freed from your weekly grind.  Meh – I’m pretty free with my weekly grind though.  Kids are young adults now (YES!!), sometimes I drive my own car, my job is fine, dogs are good, lizard is cool, there’s food in the fridge, neighbour boy cuts my grass each week.  What else is there?  A housecleaner would be luxurious… but honestly I pretty much do what I want, when I want.  Maybe it is about freeing the mind!  If you do not have things poking you for no good reason at inopportune times you are able to clear your head?  Maybe not having wires or uncomfortable straps which encapsulate, compress and control the situation causes so much flopping around that you are knocked silly and cannot remember what you are supposed to be bothered about?  I don’t know.  I am very confused about the Weekend Bra.

Today I had to go buy vacuum cleaner bags.  Usually I go to the local retailer of tires and household appliances for this very exciting purchase.  But today I deviated from that store and went to the local big box store.  I told myself I was going there because I needed yogurt but the truth is I went to buy the magical bra. I am totally confused about whether or not I picked the correct vacuum cleaner bags, but I now have a Weekend Bra (and yogurt). Look out world – here I come.  Hope I don’t lose an eye.